Posted On: Apr 20, 2008

I suppose we kind of become who we are from years of treading the water. Testing and trying different approaches to different things. Music is the second biggest part of my soul after that which belongs to my family. Music for me, as an artist (and I mean as an actual drawing, painting sort of one as well as musical), is the ultimate canvas. That kind of nonsensical way we approach the invisible blankness of a pending song. Like a vacant car space....but you seem to know whats going to park in there and why. Or maybe as I like to believe, you are providing a nice big blank piece of paper for the song to land on, a bit like a droplet of blue paint that has been falling for ever and keeps missing the ground...til now. I love the arts. I love the nitty gritty and spiritualism of it. I like that God is in there always, no matter what you think and no matter whether you done it for that reason or not. I like how it feels inside when you are in the middle of a song and you keep pushing the boundries, the stage swallows you and the people disappear. That familiar shudder runs the length of your spine and for a moment you never felt so big or in control. The opposite side to this coin, off course, is the times when music is so unimportant to the atmosphere around you, and you wait for the end of the night for the silver so you can go home. Defeated and alone, feeling slightly naked and practically invisable. Or wishing you where. Its just that I been playing live in Belfast and beyond for a long time. I am fortunte to have always had residencies and made a good solid living from it. I am guilty I suppose of maybe not trying as hard as I should sometimes, taking the whole thing for granted. I am a tattooist also, and its the same there. I have a good reputation as a good artist. Sometimes people will call me weekly to see if I am tattooing. The answer is usually no, but I am trying to find more time and effort. Its my fallback after all, if music ever lets me down. Best to be nice about it now I suppose!

All this aside, it seems that its going to all be good. I look forward to being able to announce the next album, who will be working on it, and where its coming from artistically. This is the part I love. Having the people around me who believe in me and my music, and also can call a spade a spade. Anyway, looking over that ramble I am not sure where it all came from. I am tired due to my stopping smoking and becoming instantly sick with it. Days now. I cant feel my insides now. They are all numb and turning back to pink...... I got a gig tonight in my favourite little artsy Belfast hole, The John Hewitt, and I hope I feel better than I did on my wednesday night gig, where I was having trouble with the pain of it all, and cant really remember much about it through the sea-like haze of nicotine cold turkey. It was never this hard last time I stopped smoking! I remember being thoroughly pissed off at having to be there at that gig though. Always good fun for Trevor and any other band members who are on the gig at the time. They know me well now though. They know that sometimes its better just to tell me to Fuck Off.........

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