Posted On: Feb 14, 2009

Hello.....................
New baby, new music, new tattoo studio, new teeth, new cars, new car crashes,new beard..............Its all go here at the camp. I thought I better write a new blog to say sorry for not posting in almost a year. Its not a record for me though. And anyway, you should all be out living your life instead of worrying what assholes like me are doing. Firstly, my daughter (stunningly beautiful at that) was born on September 18th 2008. She is amazing. I am in love. She has told me, in her own little way, that she never wants to leave my side ever and has agreed to become a nun. Secondly, I have been working on new stuff, new songs, new styles and vibes. I am recording, when I can get the time. As some of you know my label and management got shot in the foot by the wonderful HBOS bank. That in turn put a stop to the promotion of Drawing Clocks, which was on the verge of great things. I think. But I would. Watch the news and see these dirty bastards fall apart from the inside out. Yee Haa! Anyway, yes.....recording. Just started rehearsals, well one anyway. I think we are ready to hit the record button. Who needs rehearsals? Thirdly, I moved into my new tattoo studio in September, much bigger and cooler than my old one. This is my full time job, for those who ever wondered if I spent my nights just gigging and drinking, taking too many drugs, smoking too many cigs, winking slyly between songs at your girlfriends and mothers and driving home pissed trying to pick up prostitutes and visiting whorehouses.....I dont do that all the time. Sometimes I need an early night for my day job as a successful and very handsome tattoo artist. This coming monday I get my two new front teeth. Its been a long haul. I had this awful disease. Its called vanity. My teeth where crooked at the front and instead of being a 31 year old with braces I thought it would be far cooler to just have false teeth. It is. I actually hope one day that I can have one or both missing at all times. Like my dad. Fourthly (is that even a word?) I was on the verge of buying myself a Ford Mustang, but my common sense (my Joanne) told me it was not a great idea. So instead I safeguarded my future purchase by buying her the car she wanted.......she cant argue now about what I want. Its important to stand out like a sore thumb when you have an ego like mine, but I couldn't explain this properly to her without sounding like a dick. So measures where taken. I crashed my other car in the snow last week. Into a farmers fence. Missed all the nice soft bits of wire and went straight into a heavy wooden post that was concreted into the ground. Snapped the post in half, and wrecked the front of my car. Had to be pulled out of the snow by a farmer in a 4x4. It was this other dudes fault. He just stopped in the middle of the road in a blizzard and I had to swerve to avoid hitting him then swerve in again to avoid the oncoming car that appeared from nowhere while I was in the wrong lane. The first guy watched me crash then drove away..........Fifthly, I am in the process of growing a phenomonal beard. I am about 5 weeks in and its lookin good. The food that gets stuck in it is probably the best thing about having it. It makes it feel real, and not like some dream. It makes me look and feel filthy, women love it. Me and Paddy (the drummer, and general partner in crime and grime) have agreed to go for it. What took me 5 weeks took him about 2 days. Bastard. Any other news? Yes.....I plan to drink far too much red wine and smoke far too many cigarettes tonight. On the sound system I am listen to Bon Iver, next its gonna be some Tom Waits...then I am gonna go outside for a piss and gaze upwards at the stars as I do, swaying gently, thinking about how small we really are and my cool beard and perpetual sexiness. I will smile to myself as I take a draw of my marly with my one free hand and imagine that for a moment I am a ninja. On a ninjic mission to drown some ants with a giant ant killing hose. We are like those ants, only on the grand scheme of things we are smaller and not as cool lookin. Deep stuff eh? Probably not. Just the red wine teasing me.

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